When my phone contacts got talking

I told my near and dear ones, just for one day, 24hours, my phone would not work. Then I switched it off and kept it “far from the reach” of my own hands.

I believe that’s when they cross-connected. They, the numbers. They turned into persons and began chatting among themselves, like a bunch of strangers connected by my contact list, locked inside a slim black rectangular room.

“She has not called me in ages” said the BookBug, whom I had on speed dial during the pandemic. Books were delivered at my doorstep even before I could type the entire title. “Ah, that’s because I have been flooding her with books of all kinds, because I feel she should write” said Padma, who thinks I must devour books in order to deliver one. “I don’t understand why she is not writing more?” Says Seema dearest.

“We know where the time is going. It’s us, says WORDY and Sleeping Bee. She is spending far too much time in trying to guess five letter words and becoming a Genius. We are not a number but we thought to let you all know”.

“We connect everyday”, said the ACE group, with a smug smile.  

“Actually the real reason is me”, said the ElGee service provider. “Several things in her house are not working. Each day its either a new glitch or another machine. I have made several visits and am also using this opportunity to suggest changing few other parts.” She grumbles but gives in.

“Taps are dripping like in horror movies and its driving her crazy, she is shouting fix it urgently, you know the situation of water in our country, fix it immediately”, said Pandababu the plumber from Kendrapada.

“Is that why she was frowning when I went to replace the remote?” asks the ByeBye Wind company technician. “And then she very rudely said don’t call me ten times for feedback”.

“That could well be, but she has also got obsessed with buying fresh. Every two days she orders vegetables from us. At least half an hour she spends. What a waste, when she can just buy once a week,” said the 100 Mantra guy.

“Vegetables and grocery? Not at all. Have you seen the specific instructions I get on which brand, which food, how many packets etc etc? I finally gave them the website details to buy online. It’s too much stress”, PetMall fellow rolls his eyes.

“Have you seen her Instagram visits, watching reels all the time, everyone dancing to some tum tum! Two left feet she has but really wants to dance? Such a waste of time”.

“Dance? We have not seen her in the studio since the pandemic” says the Cool fit instructor.

“Take a loan. How many calls and messages I have been sending from how many numbers? She blocks them every time. What’s wrong with her?” I have a series of numbers saved as Don’t Pick. Almost all other banks send me SMSs offering loans, except for the one where I have an account.

“Why has she not bought anything in the last two months? New year resolution? No clothes, fabric, jewellery, bags, toys, knick-knacks, nothing? Why do sound people make such un-sound resolutions?” the artisans and entrepreneurs say in unison.

“Well, you all may think you are on top priority, but really, it’s me. I have her entwined around my tiny paws. I have made her house my base, so I return and leave as I please, never mind its 2 am or 6 am! I run around and create a ruckus waking her up. No matter the time, I feel the need to smell food. I eat if I like or get her to chase me to feed. So, the real reason is she is sleep deprived. I can’t help much. I have my own routine. I may not have a phone number and am very independent, but I get most of her attention.”

I woke to the ravenous mews of Momila the Mama cat. And switched the phone back on.

PS: Some names have been changed so that I do not inadvertently advertise for them.

Advertisement