From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Tearing (/ˈtiərɪŋ/), lacrimation, or lachrymation, (from Latin lacrima, meaning “tear”) is the secretion of tears, which often serves to clean and lubricate the eyes in response to an irritation of the eyes.[1] Tears formed through crying are associated with strong internal emotions, such as sorrow, elation, emotion, love, awe or pleasure. Laughing or yawning may also lead to the production of tears. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tears)
One emotion not listed here is anger.
Yes, anger causes some of us to burst into crying, tears roll down from our eyes. It often surprises the other person or group of persons. “What is there to cry” we are asked? (Likely to be women, because men don’t cry you see! I cringe every time I hear a parent tell the male child, why are you crying, you are not a girl? Why are you scared, you are not a girl?)
Anger has many causes. Not all of them cause tears. They manifest in other forms, violence, argument, stamping your feet, banging a door etcetera etcetera etcetera
Crying also is a manifestation of anger. Anger combined with frustration.
It is a different kind of anger. When your close family members, most trusted friends, do not understand you. Or say something most insensitive. That anger when you get unsolicited advice to be brave in the face of a life altering situation. It’s when you were expecting unconditional support from your closest friend or partner and she/ he gives you a flimsy excuse.
It’s when you see partiality at work place. The subtle biases at workplace, those tiny but visible issues that do not have a platform to talk about. They exist nonetheless and continue. That frustration turns into anger.
It’s when your integrity is questioned.
A clichéd example, but Ram asking Sita to undergo the agnipariksha. Is that how much you understand me? Is that all that matters to you?
It’s when you see how people pity the differently-abled. As if pity is still better than indifference. It’s when you ask for fair wages for men and women and you are told, women are still getting something right, as against nothing? It’s when you see rich and educated serve their house-help food in plates kept separately for them. We are still giving them food right?
It’s when you have to keep saying things over and over and over again over decades. It’s exasperating, frustrating.
It’s sometimes an anger of helplessness. Not to be confused with weakness.
It’s when with all forms of modern communication, there are these things that one finds it hard to tell.
So don’t simply say “why don’t you tell me?” The deeper a person feels, the harder it is for them to start to explain, what to them is the basis of understanding, the basics, the foundations.
As I write, I expect “what a vague piece of writing.”
And I know that few people will be nodding in agreement.
Anuradha...the longing to find a language 